It’s already been 2 hours.
2 hours of dodging. 2 hours of running. 2 hours of dying.
This boss was supposed to be easy. Just another obstacle to keep me occupied until I can reach my next bonfire.
Boy, was I mistaken.
I never considered myself to be one of those basic “girl gamers” who only played Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley (though I do own and play both on occasion). I happen to play first-person and third-person shooters and (in my opinion) I’m pretty decent.
Needless to say, I am quite confident in my gaming skills.
That was until I downloaded Dark Souls III.
For those out there who have a life, Dark Souls is Dungeon & Dragons but in video game form (if you know you know). In simple terms, it’s a nerdy game about killing mythical creatures with magic or big swords — not really my area of expertise.
But, starting off, the game wasn’t that hard. There was a boss at the beginning, but it only took me a few tries to kill, and then I was carried through the rest of a game by someone who actually knows how to play (thanks Cooper, you’re a real one). I was genuinely having fun running around, being told what to do (AKA being mansplained to) and looking at the surprisingly beautiful scenery.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I died. A LOT. Patience is not something that I have been gifted with and the main skill needed to beat Dark Souls III is — you guessed it — patience. But in the end, I was progressing in the game (even if it wasn’t entirely my doing).
And then it happened.
I was told the Crystal Sage boss was average difficulty, so my arrogant and confident self decided I would fight it alone (first mistake).
One death turned into two, two into twelve, and then I lost count. Two hours passed and I could barely get the boss down to half health which would then activate its second stage that made three more sages appear (because one wasn’t enough apparently).
I might not have patience but I am stubborn and I physically couldn’t go to bed until I killed this cussing cuss of a boss (gotta keep it PG-13).
It was soon 12:00 A.M. and I had only gotten close to killing the Crystal Sage once. But I wouldn’t (also couldn’t) back down.
Eventually, I learned the pattern the Sage used for her moves but I still couldn’t kill her (definite skill issue).
It was now 2 AM, and I was broken. Never has a game made me want to cry, scream, and throw a full on hissy fit in my life.
So I logged off.
I gave up.
Well… atleast at that moment.
The next day I had church, but as soon as I got home, I plopped on the couch, turned on the PS5, and got to work.
After about another hour of death (for those counting how long I spent on this boss it’s been five hours now), I decided to stop and think about how I could approach this fight differently. I realized that I needed to be more patient and try to read the situation more carefully.
And surprisingly, I was getting better.
I got closer and closer to killing the stupid sage, and after about another hour of death (that’s six hours now), I did it.
At 2:09 pm on Sunday, September 17, 2023 (yes, I documented it), I killed the Crystal Sage in Dark Souls III.
All by myself.
Some might say that I wasted six hours of my life on a weird game (and they might be right), but in the end, my hard work paid off. And who knows, maybe next time it’ll only take me five hours instead of six.